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Current Music:This is why I'm hot- MIMS
Current Location:La casa de Ella Bella
Subject:you're what keeps me believing this world's not gone dead
Time:12:04 am
So. Alright.
I've skipped a total of six classes so far this quarter (aka two weeks)
I haven't done math homework in three weeks, and its all due on friday.
I have $10 to get me through until tuesday, or maybe longer if I decide to save my paycheck.
Mom is saying I can't stay an extra week in Panama (although I think my sis will make her change her mind)
Annndddd (and thats a big 'and') I still don't know where I'm going to school

Yesterday mom said "If you don't decide by this weekend where you're going, I'll choose for you"
And this morning she said "If you really want to live in Chicago you could move there after you finish school."

But its all okay, because I am taking it in stride.
Or just ignoring it all by slacking even further and not thinking about the giant decisions looming ahead.
Whatever, at least I'm feeling okay.

The good news is:
Friday is possibly chilling with the boys
Saturday is prom shopping with Ella
Monday is Say Anything (!!!!! I can't afford a t-shirt with my 10 bucks, but thats just fine)

Maybe after all that I will start, you know, thinking about life again?
I'll probably be having a nervous breakdown next week when I fully realize, holyshitwhatamidoing?
But for now I'll bask in the glory of the days ahead, in Noodles mac n' cheese and free Ben and Jerry's, of walks around uptown with my favorite chica, and the fact that I might get to have speech with Ricky before the end of the week.
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Current Music:No Scrubs- TLC
Current Location:still here
Time:10:09 pm
I feel like life has been pretty uneventful for me the last couple of weeks.
Thats probably good
and also due to my new years resolution (stay away from bad-vibe, negative people and drama)
I'm liking the chill.

Woke up yesterday and the sun was shining.
Spring makes me want to yell and dance, but also to curse mud and the reappearance of dead grass
For the first time in at least two months, the door on my mom's porch unfroze enough so I could go outside and sit and have a conversation with a sparrow (not really, but it was whistling at me)

Can I just mention how much I'd like to wake up tomorrow on an uncomforable matress with the sun shining down on my face through a hole in the cinder-block walls and stumble into the next room for a breakfast of rice and american cheese, eaten while sitting on an upside-down bucket and watching soccer? And then maybe follow that up with a outdoor shower, standing on a slippery rock while trying to shampoo my hair and listen to the animals scurrying about in the trees overhead at the same time. Once that was finished, I'd like to spend the rest of my day riding around on the handlebars of a bicycle, tromping through the honest-to-god rainforest and fields for a swim in a warm muddy river and lazing about in a hammock in the sun, all the while snacking on chorizo hot off the grill and washing that down with some fresh coconut water. As the evening rolls around, I could ideally by found in an open-air bar, joking with some 'cousins' who all wear soccer jerseys and smile at me from beneath baseball caps, sipping on cerveza Atlas, once in awhile getting up to dance some lazy bachata, all before sneaking back into that same two room house, being careful not to wake the little kids, and falling asleep on that matress again.
I've really have to get back there.
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Current Music:Satisfied- The Replacements
Subject:ella 'ta sueltaaaa
Time:07:05 pm
I am a champion sleeper.
Having no 1st hour is FABULOUS, if only because I get to sleep for a whole extra hour. Plus, it helps me to wake up when its not pitch black when my alarm goes off.
And then, when I get home, I usually nap.
I may not be able to sleep for long stretches of time (10 hours at most) but I'm up for a nap anytime, anyplace.

I hate feeling out of the loop.

4 months until I'm in Panama!
Screw graduation, I'm just looking forward to this trip.
One week with my mom and sis, in one of the two beachy regions
and then one week by myself :D
Gonna see all mi gente and hopefully mi cholo, tambien.
Cannot. Wait.
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Current Music:Muse
Subject:everything you need to take to school
Time:01:22 pm
Work is exausting.
Its taking the bus downtown after dark three nights a week.
Its yelling everything at the kids twice (once in Spanish, once in English)
Its getting my languages mixed up and being the only person able to understand the 7 kids who don't speak english and want their moms.
Its trying to break up fights and make sure no one has an accident.
Its going up and down the stairs 25 times a night to get drinks of water or take kids to the bathroom.
Its never knowing how many charges are going to show up.
Its getting hit in the face and bitten on the arm.
Its tantrums.
Its screaming.
Its crying.
Its laughing.

I love it. Period.
Every night I end up invigorated by the whole experience, smiling and laughing about the petty little fights I had to deal with and the impossibilities of getting toddlers to listen.

The roof of the Y is honestly one of my favorite places in the world. I go up there on Fridays when I have my break and downtown is all lit up. You can just barely hear the traffic and you can laugh at the ridiculous amount of people stuck in their offices at 8:30 on a Friday night. It looks right out onto Nicollet and you can watch the building-that-changes-color for 10 minutes. Its fabulous to have that little bit of serenity amongst four hours of absolute chaos.
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Current Location:cold house
Time:04:07 pm
this week is totally kicking my ass. and thats uncool.
stress+working 4 days+finals+fucking bad head cold=the death of fun.
I have about a million things to finish before thursday, and with all this exaustion and sicky feelings, its hard to sit down and bite the bullet, homework-wise.

Still To Do
1. Econ essay on globalization. 3-4 pages. Due on wednesday (tomorrow)
2. CIS literary event write-up. 3-4 pages. Due thursday
3. CIS field day response. 1 page. Due thursday
4. Math final. Wednesday

Aaaaaand, I work today, wednesday, thursday, and friday (oh yes. every day this week).
Its gonna be AWESOME DD:

I barely slept last night, took some DayQuil at 8 this morning, came home and slept from 12-2, and now my body is all fucked up. I'm exausted, but intensely aware of everything around me at the same time. Can't decide if I need to take more DayQuil to make it through work and then crash when I get home, or to just drink a shitload of Pepsi.
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Current Music:Chips Ahoy! - The Hold Steady
Time:10:02 pm
Current Mood:exanimateexanimate
10:00 on a sunday is a lonely hour.
Which is weird because I just spent the last 4 hours with my bff since age 4.
But then when she leaves with her brilliant smile I start to really think about the people around me.
And sometimes I wonder why I'm even making an effort, if it doesnt seem to be appreciated.

I miss the summer before 10th grade sometimes, when things was tightttt.
And every single day, I miss those Germans, those muchachos, and that one moari girl.

Ok. whatevs.
I'm gonna see Ella tomorrow, and she will revive my faith in humanity in general <3
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Time:05:51 pm
Current Mood:ready
Going back to school tomorrow. Not quite looking forward to it, but it should be alright.
Haven't done any homework, but thats alright.
Now that I've been accepted to 4 out of the 5 schools I applied to, I'm just not feeling the whole highschool thing.
And apparently, thats fine with my mom.

I've just gotta take a moment here to boost my own ego (hahaha)
After working my ass off these past three and a half years, I finally feeling like its paying off.
I got straight A's freshman and sophmore years, decent grades junior year, and I sat through that damn SAT twice.
I feel like its okay for me to be proud of myself, and to maybe take a little break from being stressed about school.
I never thought I'd get into Madison, but I did, and so maybe all that studying wasnt a waste of time.
I've got four choices for where I'm gonna end up living the next 4(+) years of my life, and it feels real good.
I'm pretty certain 2007's gonna be a fabulous year. So far, its exceeded my expectations.

I didnt make a resolution for this year, per say. More like a plan.
The plan is to stay out of other people's drama and dont let anyone bring down my good mood.
Fuck you, if you think thats selfish, but I just want to live my next year for me.
No negative vibes, no stressing about things that dont deserve my attention, just being who I want to be and doing things that make me happy.

Speaking of being happy, the other day I got an email from thisCollapse ) boy saying "Te quiero tanto Libby!!!! Te extrano muchisimo!!! Me+you just drinking a couple of beers in front of my house and the walking down to the ocean with Lessia and Lika... and talking all the time!!! Extrano eso!!!!"
So, my life is made. I miss that kid so much.
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Current Music:Rudy Cant Fail- The Clash
Current Location:my empty house
Time:01:38 pm
this makes me so pleased.
of course, its not for sure that I'll end up there, but its good to know that I'm in at least one place.
and, it doesnt hurt that they offered me $7,500/year for my good grades :D
Future, here I come!
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Current Music:noise
Current Location:Capital Hill, Seattle
Time:10:18 pm
I'm in beautiful Seattle right now, where its green and about 45 degrees.
My belly is full of overpriced sparkling water and black cod marinated in sake.
My baby cousin (Cooper Flinn Hollands) is banging on the table and yelling.
My sister is sitting on the couch reading.
Life is good.

Its good to get away for awhile.
I left my cellphone charging in my room at home, so there's nothing but my family and my uncles' ridiculous gay friends to deal with.
Oh mom, why do you get drunk when everyone else is sipping at one glass of wine? hahaha
But I got a black iPod and some seriously cool speakers, so I am chill.
Gonna be spending the rest of my break uploading all my music and kickin it with my number one girl.
But for now I'll just be confused by so much rain at the end of december.

I remember last year at christmas when I was sweating and wearing shorts.
That was a holiday I'll never forget.
Playing babysitter to 4 spoiled princesitas, gaudy fake evergreen boughs all over the fence, and then partying it up after midnight mass.
And now this year, I'm away from home again.
Its weird to not have snow two years in a row.
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Current Music:sissy and mom talking
Current Location:my house
Subject:why am i only capable of doing memes?
Time:11:55 pm
Current Mood:anxiousanxious
2006 SurveyCollapse )
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[icon] a little bit of shiney
View:Recent Entries.
View:The Jonez's LJ. Carrie's Blog. Slashy Punk Boys.
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